So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
