Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize