What a fucking waste of an outfit
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
