dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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