I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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