did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
