I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
