I wanna passion pit in your ass
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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