He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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