ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
