This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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