Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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