I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
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Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
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We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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