Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
