My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
bring money and cleavage
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
