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• (480): View more from Arizona

  allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day

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• (845): View more from New York

  They were actually really boring considering how we met them.

  (1-845): View more from New York

  howd you meet them?

  (845): View more from New York

  They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

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• (469): View more from Texas

  You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...

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• (941): View more from Florida

  It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?

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