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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

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  23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

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• (+35): View more from

  Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?

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  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...

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