She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?