the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
