is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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