party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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