Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
