you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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