i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
