dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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