At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
