I didn't shave. On purpose
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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