"it" just moved
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
