My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
