I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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