sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
