please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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