I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
