I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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