I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
