Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize