That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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