I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I will pee on everything he values.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
