My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
