remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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