bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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