Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
