Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
