also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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