This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize