So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
