i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
