it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just cropdusted the office
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
