Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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