do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
