he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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