My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
