Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
ā"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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