just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
