exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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