is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
