Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
