I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
whose ass print is on the piano?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
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