Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it because I queefed?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
