I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
